FOR THE HELL OF IT SPECIAL EDITION (Actual useful information involved. No, really…)

ACX AND ME. PART 2:  SO, MR. HOITY-TOITY PRODUCER! WHADDA YOU KNOW FROM PRODUCING?

By Johnny Heller                                                                  

In our last lesson, we learned what ACX was and a little bit about how it works.  Remember that this is all coming to you from my perspective and my experiences. Your perspective and experiences may be different – but this is my blog so your experiences don’t count.   So there.

Before I get too far along here, let me say that a few things have changed since I wrote the last blog.  Remember the part where I was whining that ACX rights holders didn’t have the decency to thank talent for auditioning or the manners to let us know what ever became of our offerings?  Yesterday I got an email thanking me for an audition and telling me that the book I auditioned for is no longer available.  It means I didn’t get the gig – which is bad. But it means that they took a moment to tell me – which is good.

Did this change come about due to the power of my mighty blog?  Do I wield that kind of authority?  Are people saying: “oooh. I dunno if Johnny Heller is going to like this – we better get his okay”.  Sure.  Sure they are.  Of course I wield that kind of power.  Why the hell not?

(I actually think it’s a co-inky-dink.   In my house the only things I am allowed to be in charge of is garbage tossing and the laundry.  And I had to lobby Jo Anna to get the laundry gig.)

Anyway that’s a good thing.  It’s very important for an actor to know that his/her audition has been heard and roundly rejected.  We are a strange tribe indeed.

Regarding rejections though – you usually just get a note (or see the awful truth on the ACX site) that the book you auditioned for is no longer available.  I’ve actually only been thanked for one audition (out of 13 so far) and I have never ever gotten a note from a right’s holder that I have auditioned for thanking me for my time or efforts.  The note I mentioned above was from ACX and I already know that they’re pretty nice people.  I know many actors – Audie winners with enough Earphone Awards to wallpaper a ballroom – who don’t hear a thing from any rights holders.  It’s really rude and rights holders who treat actors with zero respect should be offered none from us. If their damn book was so good, someone would’ve done the audio already and they wouldn’t have to come crawling to us on their bloody knees begging us to read their trite titles and god-awful prose!  (I will swiftly change my fiery tune on this issue when a job is offered because I have the moral fiber and high principals of a meth-addicted lab rat.)

Actually, the rights holder I did work for – Aaron Patterson – seems the exception. He sought me out and has been absolutely wonderful.

I got an email today from ACX telling me that the stipend deal has been extended, that ACX has 500 projects completed or in production and telling me that support is available to me by calling them toll free or sending queries to 3 different email addresses (depending on the nature of the query).  Say what you will, that is top flight customer service.

So now you’ve auditioned and been hired and you’ve agreed to a per/finished/hour rate or to a royalty share with or without a stipend.  You are no longer a mere narrator.  You are now a producer.

Let me just mention that this business is tough enough already.  There can be no question that being a narrator is a challenging job.  You must be able to share the author’s truth and deliver the author’s story in a way that the listener finds engaging.  You must be every character.  You must be clearly understood without being didactic or robotic.  You are the quintessential story teller.  Apparently being good at that is not enough.

With the advent and strong industry tilt toward hiring narrators with home studios – forcing perfectly wonderful actors to become highly suspect engineers – working for ACX requires us to be producers in addition to being actors and engineers.

SIDE BAR ON PRODUCERS:  One often wonders what a producer actually does.  You can ask that very question on your computer and get some excellent answers.  A producer basically is in charge of production – budgets, scripts, casting, story editing, idea-pitching…etc.

There are many different types of producers.  On a recent viewing of a horrible program like Whitney, I noted more producers than cast members.  On most television shows you can find an Executive Producer or 5, a passel of Co-Executive Producers, a barrel of Supervising Producers, a bucket of Producers, a sh*t load of Co-Producers, a posse of Associate Producers, a handful of Co-Coordinating Producers and a dash or two of Consulting Producers.   Each one of them gets a piece of the financial pie that comes from a hit show like Piers Morgan Tonight or Kourtney and Kim.  One or two of the producers credited in the various horrible shows available for our viewing pleasure actually worked on the program.  Most are money men and people owed money by the money men but who decided to blow off the loot in favor of having their name listed on TV.  The most important producer is the one who provides the various guest stars with hookers and the various other producers with quality blow.  This producer is called a Production Assistant and without his services, the program would be even worse to watch than it currently is.  For his selfless service and keen knowledge of the LA kinky sex and drug scene, the PA is often given the opportunity to park expensive cars he’ll never own and go to parties where no one will talk to him unless the cocaine and the hookers run out.  Then, of course, he becomes extremely popular for about 15 minutes – depending on traffic.-END OF PRODUCERS’ SIDEBAR

So now you are a producer of your ACX project.  It doesn’t mean you have to procure drugs and hookers…unless that’s the way you normally work.  (Of course, if that is the way you normally work, you’re gonna want to get a lot more money per finished hour than you originally agreed to.)

Your job is to see that the production is finished by the due date.  You will be in charge of finding a studio to record in, arranging studio time for the sessions, finding an engineer to work with you while you record,  or mastering what you have recorded when you’re done.  You will need to proof your work and do retakes or pay someone to proof it for you and then do retakes.  You will be responsible for uploading the files to ACX and you will have to do more retakes if so requested…which requires more scheduling and more recording and more editing and more uploading.

Being a PA is sounding so much better isn’t it?

Remember once you’ve agreed to work for a given price with the rights holder when you accepted the ACX gig – you are stuck with that.  Here’s a bad thing I almost did:  I knew that my agreement to record Vincent Zandri’s “Scream Catcher” as a royalty share with a $100 p/f/hr stipend was not going to leave me with much loot for my efforts – unless the book sells well and I make some mullah.  I asked the rights holder if he’d help foot the bill for my engineer and he said he would.  Once you work things out with the rights holder, you have to okay the contract.  Fortunately I was clever enough to actually read the contact originally offered to me.  It was worded in such a way that I was only going to get around $500 for the whole book – no royalties!  I called ACX and spoke to the very swell Charles Clerke and I was told to turn down the project as offered and have the rights owner send me a new – correct – offer.

Of course the “correct offer” doesn’t mention our deal to help pay the engineer but Aaron gave his word and he has, in fact, paid and proven himself to be an upstanding human – of course he’s from the Midwest where upstanding humans and tipped cows can be found in abundance.  It might be a problem in the ACX model that “special” contract provisions aren’t easy to include – but it is more likely that I am a dolt and don’t understand how to do it.  Either way, there is a very important lesson here:

You are the producer.  You can set up any contract you want.  There is surely a way to write it up so it looks like the deal you made.  For example – the rights holder wants you to narrate and you have no studio?  Make a deal that requires the rights holder to pay for the studio.  (If he won’t, you can’t do the gig anyway so just ask!)  You don’t want to pay for word research and engineering and mastering?  Screw it then and ask the rights holder to pay.   If he says “no”, you’re where you were before you asked him.

(I must confess that I have not broached this bit with ACX and I don’t know if what I’m saying is allowable but I am saying it certainly should be.  Studio time and engineering is expensive and the only way to make money on this if we have to do all the work is to only go for the big budget gigs or have someone else pick up the production tab.  Just like the real world – we do the producer job but not with our own money.  Again – I have not brought this up to the fine folks at ACX but they can read about here if they want.)

So I made a deal and okayed a contract.  Now it’s time to work.  A narrator’s job is not the point of this essay so let’s look at the other stuff.  When you finish recording for the day, get the files to the engineer.  If he/she is working with you, it’s easy.  If not – send them.  And remember to send the first 15 minutes of your narration to ACX for approval.

JOHNNY IS AN IDIOT SIDEBAR:

When you record with pro tools, you record at a certain speed – it’s kbhz or some such letters.  I noted, after 11 hours or so, that I was not recording at the same speed ACX required me to upload my recorded files in.  I should have known this since I had to upload 15 minutes to start with and get the okay to go ahead.

So, I record away and I know somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my brain that I will eventually have to turn my files into MP3s at the required mghz or bit rate or whatever the hell it is.  And, as I said, I know for certain that I will have to do this.  It isn’t optional.  I also know that I don’t know how to do this.

Normally I just have someone do this for me or I have the producer handle it.  Here, though, I am the producer and I haven’t a clue.  I still don’t.  I know that you have to put stuff through ITunes to create MP3s and I know that Simon Prebble told me that for $25 or so I could get a program that automatically turns my WAV files into MP3s but did I go and get it? No.  (See sidebar title for more information on why not.)

The point is, there is more to do here than just narrating.  Either master pro tools mixing or get an engineer.

I’m also an idiot because I read on ACX that I was to upload my finished book by chapters.  In Scream Catcher, Vincent Zandri has really short chapters – every one to three pages are a new chapter.   It’s the way he’s chosen to structure his book.  I knew the book was written this way and I knew ACX wanted books uploaded by chapter.  Did I check with ACX on how to handle this issue?  No.  Why?  (Again, see the sidebar title).

There are other instances in the process where I proved my idiocy time and again but this blog is already in danger of becoming a novella so – END OF JOHNNY IS AN IDIOT SIDEBAR.

The book, finished, must be uploaded to the ACX site in the way ACX wants it to be uploaded.  I don’t know why I – the producer – can’t just upload it my way but apparently here’s where my producer title is trumped by ACX’s Executive Producer Title.  Zandri did the writing.  Aaron Patterson of StoneHouse Ink did the publishing and I did all the narrating and Marc Avila, my gifted engineer (who is available to work with you if you like – just let me know) did all the mastering but ACX does the marketing.  They are in charge of getting and giving the loot so they trump everyone.  Do things their way and don’t ask why is my advice.

We uploaded – not by chapter in this case – but in 15 minute chunks.  Then we noted that we could actually upload much larger files instead.  We noted this after spending 4 hours painstakingly uploading about five 15-minute chunks.  Again – idiot.

(I later got a note from ACX telling me that the files I ended up uploading were too big and very burdensome for their engineers to proof – yes, they proof your work! – however they told me that they would let it go this time only but I would have to upload shorter chunks next time.  Personally I think they read the “johnny is an idiot” sidebar in advance and decided it was easiest to fix it themselves than try to tell me what to do.)

Uploading takes a long time.  It is best done while drinking heavily and with abandon…at least that’s how we did it.

Once it’s uploaded are you done?  No.  No you are not.  You need to have the rights holder okay the upload and then are you done?  No you are not.  You have to see if the rights holder or the folks at ACX want you to do any retakes.  If they do, then you have to do them.

In the meantime you have to send ACX an invoice.  On the ACX site you can find the information they want you to have on your invoice and so you, as the producer, make up a neat little invoice and send it in and you think: “ah! At last! 150 hours of work and now I can sit back and wait for my $1100 dollars.”  Nope.  You get a note telling you that you must invoice using the ACX template which I couldn’t find on the site.  So, they send you a template and you put in the same information that you already put in the first invoice.  Remember to ask for a template invoice and remember to send it in immediately so the clock will start ticking on your payment so that the money will arrive while you can still remember having done the project in the first place.

Also be advised that ACX can take 60 days to pay you. 60 days to pay you an amount that is likely 1/8 of the total funds in the petty cash drawer belonging to the lowest level mailroom employee at the Amazon/Audible/ACX hydra beast.  But also remember – it’s not the money – it’s the art we live for.  Just don’t try to buy a sandwich with your rendition of chapter one.

You also need to remember to fill out and send in a W-9 form which is available on the site.  Do this or you don’t get paid!

I am certain I have left some important things out.  I did my project as a stipend/royalty share and I can’t tell you if it was an economic success yet.  Based on the money I am guaranteed, it certainly is not a good investment of my time.  However, I agreed to take the risk on the royalty share and I am hopeful that it will prove a wise decision.

I will audition for more ACX projects but I will ask for a large hourly fee to justify the time and work I found necessary to do the project right.  Those of you with engineering skills may find the job less formidable than I did.

Then again I still fondly recall the days when an actor was responsible only for creating characters and sharing the author’s truth and we had engineers who engineered, directors who directed and producers who got us coke and hookers.  Good times.  Good times.

NEXT TIME IN: FOR THE HELL OF IT! – I GO BACK TO MAKING FUN OF STUFF.